Kumpulan HOAX lucu (English)
Ryan_saint:
Plagiarized Poem - Why Computers Sometimes Crash! by Dr. SeussQuote
You must read this out LOUD!!!
Why Computers Sometimes Crash! by Dr. Seuss.
(Read this to yourself aloud - it's great!)
If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port, and the bus is interrupted at a very last resort, and the access of the memory makes your floppy disk abort, then the socket packet pocket has an error to report.
[Remaining verses removed: The verse above and the verses that I have removed from this example were stolen from a longer poem by Gene Ziegler - See analysis below for details.]
Well, that certainly clears things up for me. How about you?
Thank you, Bill Gates, for bringing all this into our lives
Detailed AnalysisQuote
This amusing and well written poem has become an Internet favourite. It has been posted on a great many websites and circulates via email almost continually. The poem commonly sports the title "Why Computers Sometimes Crash!" and its authorship is attributed to famous American writer and cartoonist, Dr. Seuss (Theodor Seuss Geisel). Another, version of the poem circulates with the title "What If Dr. Seuss Wrote Technical Manuals?" and lists the author as "Anonymous".
Astute recipients would have suspected that the piece was not actually penned by Dr. Seuss (who died in 1991) and was attributed to him simply because of its Seuss like style. That said, many of us are perhaps guilty of believing that the poem was just one more among the thousands of jokes, poems and stories of unclaimed and unknown authorship that make their way around Cyberspace.
In fact, the piece is part of a longer poem written by Gene Ziegler in 1994 and titled "A Grandchild's Guide to Using Grandpa's Computer". The complete poem, is available on Gene Ziegler's website. In a history of the poem on the same web page, Gene explains:
Unfortunately, the internet being what it is, some scoundrel whose editing skills exceeded his or her ethical standards edited the poem, reduced it by half, removed my name, and recirculated it under the title "If Dr. Seuss were a Technical Writer", attributed to the ever prolific "Anonymous."
The version included above attributes the poem to Dr. Seuss himself and adds a reference to Bill Gates along with advice to read the poem aloud.
After he discovered that his work had been stolen, Gene Ziegler wrote another, very witty poem entitled "Hang the Information Highwayman!" in which he eloquently condemns the plagiarist.
The fact that the plagiarized versions of the original poem have become so popular and spread so widely is testament to its quality and appeal. It is sad and unfair that Mr. Ziegler has been so often denied the credit he deserves. Please do not circulate or publish the stolen versions of the poem. The original and other excellent works are available for your reading pleasure o
Ryan_saint:
Show Your Bum JokeSummary:Email warns that a man supposedly conducting a survey may come to your door and ask to see your bum
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Generally, I hate the hoax warnings that get sent around, but I have to admit that this one is important.
Please protect everyone you know by sending this to your entire email list.
If a man comes to your front door and says he is conducting a survey and asks you to show him your bum, do not show him your bum.
This is a scam - he only wants to see your bum.
Commentary:This satirical little number pokes fun at email hoaxes and those who avidly forward them without letting unimportant side issue like THE TRUTH get in the road.
Mind you, I think I've detected a pearl of wisdom in this little piece! If a man comes to your door and asks you to show him your bum, he might only want to see your bum! So I'd suggest that you check his credentials carefully before you go ahead and rip them there jeans down ok??
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Other Versions:
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SEND THIS WARNING TO EVERYONE ON YOUR EMAIL LIST.
I hate those hoax e-mail warnings, but this one is important.
If a man comes to your front door and says he is conducting a survey and asks you to show him your boobs, DO NOT show him your boobs. This is a scam. He only wants to see your boobs.
I wish I'd gotten this yesterday. I feel so stupid.
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I hate people who forward these hoax warnings as much as anyone, but this one is important!
Send this warning to all of the men on your e-mail list!
If a young lady comes to your front door saying she is conducting a survey on Rocky Mountain ticks and asks you to take off your clothes, do not do it!
This is a scam; she only wants to see you naked!
I wish I'd gotten this yesterday. I feel so stupid and cheap now!
Ryan_saint:
Bad Times SpoofSummary:Email mocks the "Good Times" virus hoax by detailing the outrageous effects of an imaginary virus named "Badtimes"
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If you receive an e-mail with a subject line of "Badtimes," delete it immediately WITHOUT reading it. This is the most dangerous Email virus yet.
It will re-write your hard drive. Not only that, but it will s cramble any disks that are even close to your computer. It will recalibrate your refrigerator's coolness setting so all your ice cream melts and milk curdles . It will demagnetize the strips on all your credit cards, reprogram your ATM access code, screw up the tracking on your VCR and use subspace field harmonics to scratch any CDs you try to play.
It will give your ex-boy/girlfriend your new phone number. It will mix antifreeze into your fish tank. It will drink all your beer and leave its dirty socks on the coffee table when there's company coming over.
It will hide your car keys when you are late for work and interfere with your car radio so that you hear only static while stuck in traffic.
Badtimes will make you fall in love with a hardened pedophile. It will give you nightmares about circus midgets. It will replace your shampoo with Nair and your Nair with Rogaine, all while dating your current boy/girlfriend behind your back and billing their hotel rendezvous to your Visa card.
It will seduce your grandmother. It does not matter if she is dead, such is the power of Badtimes, it reaches out beyond the grave to sully those things we hold most dear.
Badtimes will give you Dutch Elm disease. It will leave the toilet seat up and leave the hairdryer plugged in dangerously close to a full bathtub. It will wantonly remove the forbidden tags from your mattresses and pillows, and refill your skim milk with whole. It is insidious and subtle. It is dangerous and terrifying to behold. It is also a rather interesting shade of mauve.
Be very, very afraid. PLEASE FORWARD THIS MESSAGE TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW!!
Commentary:Quote
This email is actually a spoof of an old hoax. The email makes fun of the old GoodTimes virus hoax that filled inboxes a few years ago.
Possibly, its writer penned it in an effort to debunk the original hoax in a humorous way. Unfortunately, the spoof itself has spawned many versions, some of which have been abridged to the point that people once again believe they are legitimate warnings.
I think there is some irony in there somewhere (grin).
In another strange twist, pop group, Laika, have used the words from this hoax email as the lyrics to one of their singles, a move that may help to educate the general public about virus hoaxes. In any case, Laika's musical version of the hoax makes for a good song.
Ryan_saint:
Digital Camera for SaleSummary:Email claims to be advertising a digital camera for sale
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Digital camera for sale
Looking to sell a digital camera - I don't need it any longer as I'm in the hospital. I'm including the last photo that I took so that you have some idea about the picture quality.
(See attached file: el_ultim.jpg)
Ryan_saint:
Nuclear Strike Email HoaxSummary:Outrageous spoof email claims that just opening an email will automatically launch a nuclear strike
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Hey. I just got this in the mail, from Symantec, so I thought I'd forward it along. It's a new virus that we should watch out for. PLEASE FORWARD THIS TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW. THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT.
Virus Update, 1/07/02
Symantec Virus Alert Center
Hello Subscriber, As part of our ongoing effort to keep Symantec clients up to date on virus alerts, this e-mail is being sent to all Symantec subscribers. A new, deadly type of virus has been detected in the wild. You should not open any message entitled "LAUNCH NUCLEAR STRIKE NOW," as this message has been programmed to access NORAD computers in Colorado and launch a full-scale nuclear strike on Russia and the former Soviet states. Apparently, a disgruntled ex-Communist hacker has designed a pernicious vb-script that actually bypasses the U.S. arsenal's significant security system and takes command of missiles and bombers directly. By opening the e-mail, you may be causing Armageddon. Needless to say, Armageddon will wipe out your hard drive and damage your computer. Again, we warn you, PLEASE, DO NOT OPEN ANY E-MAIL ENTITLED "LAUNCH NUCLEAR STRIKE NOW." YOU MAY CAUSE A FULL-SCALE NUCLEAR HOLOCAUST. As a precaution, all U.S. nuclear missiles have been set to "Do Not Author!ize Launch Via E-mail" to prevent an accidental Armageddon. However, due to a Y2K bug, the possibility still exists that you may end life as we know it on this planet by opening the aforementioned e-mail.
VIRUS NAME: ArmaGeddyLee, HappyOrMaybeNot00, OopsWrongButton00
TRANSMITTAL METHOD: vb-script attached to e-mail
HAZARD: Extremely Super High
AREA OF INFECTION: Detected in wild
CHARACTERISTICS: Destroys life on earth via nuclear Armageddon
Please forward this warning to everyone you can. Thank you for your attention to this matter,
Sincerely,
The Symantec Anti-Virus Team
Commentary:The information in this email is such an outrageous lie that even the most gullible recipient would surely recognize it as a joke. The email mirrors the style of typical virus hoaxes, which implies that it is intended as a spoof. Information about this hoax on the Symantec website states that the "email is not from Symantec, nor was any such message ever sent from Symantec".
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